My thoughts about the domestic terroist attack in Atlanta against Asian Americans

 I've been stewing for a while about everything that's been going on with regards to the Anti-Asian Hate that has been plaguing America since the beginning of the pandemic.  I've been struggling to reconcile it.  Last night I wanted to try and write out my thoughts rather than posting memes and images to social media.  Below was what came out.  If you read it please know that if you disagree with anything or have thoughts about any of it I would love to have a conversation.  I don't pretend to understand everything and all I can convey are my own thoughts and feelings.  

I want to start off by saying that the shooting in Atlanta was 100% racially motivated.  I believe that without a shadow of a doubt.  The fact that no one in power, not the police involved, the mayor of Atlanta, or hell even the president and vice president of the United states will say that it was hurts me deeply to my core.  It just shows how little thought or care is even given to Asian Americans in this country.  Instead of saying it was racially motivated they immediate did what I was taught in J-school (cool technical term for journalism school!) as “setting the agenda.”  The chief of police came out along with the mayor of Atlanta and said that the crimes were possibly “sexually motivated.”  As soon as those words were uttered into the ether that is the American consciousness many news outlets and people latched onto it.  It was an easy way for them to continue to neglect the issues that are plaguing Asian Americans while still pretending to be an ally.  It was like a “whew” moment for a lot of people.  Thank god we don’t have to acknowledge this homegrown terrorism against Asian Americans, and we can just go back to treating them like an invisible population. 

I think that because of all the positive stereotypes that many Asian Americans have latched onto for years; we’re smart, hardworking, good at math, docile, generally well off, it caused this rift where people see Asian Americans as a part of the higher echelons of American society.  In “good” times we’re almost treated like we’re not POC and I think that’s what a lot of older Asian Americans liked about those stereotypes.  It made them all feel like part of America rather than the others that we are and will always be.  Stereotypes whether positive or negative are dangerous.  And the fact that many people still don’t understand that is disheartening; BIPOC not understanding that is un fucking fathomable.  That’s why I will never ever support Andrew Yang with his stupid “Math” campaign merch (I know it stands for “Make America Think Harder” but the connotation is “I’m Asian and I’m good at math!) (I’ll always take swipes at that pandering POS).  America still wants its Asians to conform to the stereotypes and that’s why it’s so hard for them to admit that this was a racially motivated attack and to even talk seriously about all the Anti-Asian violence.  If they start talking about it, they will have to acknowledge that Asian American have always been seen as other and that we were never seen as equals to the whites (man, typing that is hard because I want to avoid the race terms but it’s the truth).  It would cause a mental disconnect that I think a lot of people don’t want to reconcile so it’s easier to just look the other way. 

But back to the shootings in Atlanta.  For arguments sake let’s say it was “sexually motivated” (which it wasn’t but for now just pretend it was) then why didn’t he just shoot any woman he saw like a good old incel?  He specifically targeted Asian American women.  By targeting people base on race wouldn’t that make the shootings racially motivated?  Does logic not exist?  Doesn’t the old adage say, “actions speak louder than words.”  A person can claim anything but when you look at the facts then you can draw the conclusion.  I could get into the fetishization of Asian American women but I think others are more knowledgeable about that.  I fucking need media or podcasters or whoever the fuck claims to be press to understand this and use their fucking brains.  THIS IS NOT AND WAS NEVER A SEXUALLY MOTIVATED SHOOTING.  IT IS A HATE CRIME PERPETRATED AGAINST ASIAN AMERICAN BY A HOMEGROWN AMERICAN TERRORIST.

This isn’t the greatest segue but I want to say I really do appreciate a lot of solidarity I see on social media about this.  But I also hope that people acknowledge that unless you are Asian American you can never fully understand what this Anti-Asian racism feels like because you haven’t lived it.  You can read about it in books, see it on the news, try and empathize, but you will never know how it really feels because it isn’t part of who you are as a person.  You will never be able to know what it feels like to be 5 years old going to elementary school with your mother and have a child yell “Ching Chong” at you from the school bus and making slant eyes at you.  Then seeing your mother go into the school and demand that that child be pulled off the bus and apologize. Those kinds of things stick with you and the feelings and emotions do too.  Just like I will never understand what it means to be a black person in America.  I support the BLM movement but never will I be disrespectful and speak about it from a place of deep knowledge because I will never know what that really feels like.  Racism is an issue for all BIPOC whether they choose to acknowledge it or not but the fact is that the ways everyone experiences it is different and I personally don’t like these social media posts that tell people to read x books to understand the issues.  It gives people this false idea that all the hurt and pain that we experience throughout our lives as BIPOC can be distilled and understood and conveyed in words.  The books can supplement understanding but cannot and will make you an expert.  I say this because I’ve had my own experiences as a Chinese person in America discounted by one of my white coworkers because she read about something in a book that contradicts what I was saying.  I’m not saying I’m an expert on the Asian American experience, I’m not, but to have someone that doesn’t share the same cultural background tell me that my thoughts about something aren’t valid because a book said differently kind of sucks.  I would have been open for a conversation but there wasn’t one.  Just a flat shut down and then a few minutes later a half-hearted apology.  This kind of shit is what comes about when there’s a false perception that reading certain books that are meant to help you empathize make you an expert on the subject.  Maybe that works for some things but never for race.  I’m going on a bit of a tangent and losing the plot a bit. 

But even in the media there is always this attempt to divide and conquer the minorities.  With the shootings there has been a lot of media outlets that are stressing the fact that these were KOREAN WOMEN.  Is that meant to divide the Asian population along country of origin lines?  Is it meant to make this into a gender based issue (some people are taking it in that direction and it plays into what the media and the powers that be want)?  I’ve seen posts that say support Asian women, Support Asian sex workers.  How about SUPPORT ASIAN AMERICANS.  The fact of the matter is it was an attack on all Asian Americans and should be treated that way.  No gender no nationality; they were all motherfucking Asian Americans.  If they segment it out they can effectively alienate some portion of Asian Americans.  “Well they were Korean and I’m not and haven’t experienced anything. I’m okay it’s not a problem” or “Oh I’m an Asian American man and they won’t attack me cause this is a gender based issue.”  Stop letting the media play you.  This is Anti-Asian hate plain and simple and we should just call it that.  Could you imagine if all minorities were able to just get together as a monolith and say “FUCK THIS WE WANT SOME FUCKING ACCOUNTABILITY IN THIS COUNTRY.”  I mean it won’t happen because of all the biases that people have but at least we can stop trying to say these are issues related to specific genders or nationalities.  I know it makes people feel special to feel like you’re the target but in reality we are all the targets.

This is a topic I’m really open to talking about but can we all stop using the term “White Supremacy?”  It’s another one of those terms like “global warming.” That come with a lot of pre established baggage and allows people to use some backwards ass logic to get out of it.  I don’t know what other words or terms would work.  But I can realistically imagine someone going, well white supremacists think whites are the best and generally those are like KKK members.  I don’t think I’m the best, I just don’t like some minorities.  Cool I’m not a white supremacist.  It also alienates some white people from looking at the larger issues plaguing this country.  America as an institution is racist, and classist more than anything else and I think if we can begin to fix the economic divide other things can slowly begin to heal.  But by ignoring that we’re all just pitted against each other by race.  We all need to think critically about what’s going on and have to stop jumping into the hype of social media or flavor of the month issues.  These issues of race have always been part of the fabric of this country and when times are good they can be swept under the rug and put on the back burner only to flare up years later.  We need to address the main issues of how our government isn’t looking out for normal people anymore and we’re all just letting it happen because we can’t see the forest from the trees.